Nats to Pujols: We Surrender
Where do the Nats get a guy like Albert Pujols? Seriously. The man has created his own verb and is doing the best impression of...well, there's really no precedent for what he is doing from the right side of the plate. Joe Dimaggio, maybe, with more power. Jimmie Foxx, maybe, with fewer strikeouts. If it weren't for Barry Bonds, he'd be the best hitter I'd ever seen, and I've seen the Big Hurt at his absurd zenith. He's the National League assassin. Like Gilbert Arenas, only he's actually doing the assassinations (Gilbert is not).
But a better question is: Where do the Cardinals get off getting a guy like Albert Pujols? Seriously. This is a franchise that has already had its Man. It already had Rogers Hornsby. Its cup overflows. Historically speaking, the Baseball Gods have smiled on the St. Louis Cardinals. (While at the same time, they frowned on the Browns, only to smile and wink at them in Baltimore, and the curse them again with Peter Angelos. But I digress).
So here's my new rule for the Major Leagues. It will enhance parity and revenues for every ball club, and leave all children happy:
Albert Pujols is to be cloned. And every team gets an Albert Pujols.
3 Comments:
Yes. But nobody knew he was Albert Pujols then. They only knew he was Albert Pujols.
This is why cloning is the solution.
Or time travel. But my guess is that we'll clone Pujols before we can create an Einstein-Rosen bridge for the purpose of whispering "Albert Pujols" in Jim Beattie's ear in the 12th round of the 1999 draft.
He wasn't even Albert Pujols in the minors. When he was a rookie with the Cards, I went to a Potomac Cannons game. Tucked in the back of the program was a listing of players to watch -- Pujols was listed as being someone who'd be ready for the majors in a year or two. At the time (May, maybe?) he was hitting well over .300 with a bunch of dingers and RBIs and was the clear front-runner for Rookie of the Year.
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