Sunday, April 30, 2006

Nats to Pujols: We Surrender

Where do the Nats get a guy like Albert Pujols? Seriously. The man has created his own verb and is doing the best impression of...well, there's really no precedent for what he is doing from the right side of the plate. Joe Dimaggio, maybe, with more power. Jimmie Foxx, maybe, with fewer strikeouts. If it weren't for Barry Bonds, he'd be the best hitter I'd ever seen, and I've seen the Big Hurt at his absurd zenith. He's the National League assassin. Like Gilbert Arenas, only he's actually doing the assassinations (Gilbert is not).

But a better question is: Where do the Cardinals get off getting a guy like Albert Pujols? Seriously. This is a franchise that has already had its Man. It already had Rogers Hornsby. Its cup overflows. Historically speaking, the Baseball Gods have smiled on the St. Louis Cardinals. (While at the same time, they frowned on the Browns, only to smile and wink at them in Baltimore, and the curse them again with Peter Angelos. But I digress).

So here's my new rule for the Major Leagues. It will enhance parity and revenues for every ball club, and leave all children happy:

Albert Pujols is to be cloned. And every team gets an Albert Pujols.

6 Comments:

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Yuda said...

Pujols was drafted in the 13th round back in 1999. So every other team passed on him approximately 12 times.

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger SuperNoVa said...

Yes. But nobody knew he was Albert Pujols then. They only knew he was Albert Pujols.

This is why cloning is the solution.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger SuperNoVa said...

Or time travel. But my guess is that we'll clone Pujols before we can create an Einstein-Rosen bridge for the purpose of whispering "Albert Pujols" in Jim Beattie's ear in the 12th round of the 1999 draft.

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger Basil said...

Our Pujols would no doubt shoot everything to right-center and complain he can't hit homers . . .

 
At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He wasn't even Albert Pujols in the minors. When he was a rookie with the Cards, I went to a Potomac Cannons game. Tucked in the back of the program was a listing of players to watch -- Pujols was listed as being someone who'd be ready for the majors in a year or two. At the time (May, maybe?) he was hitting well over .300 with a bunch of dingers and RBIs and was the clear front-runner for Rookie of the Year.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Another solution to the cloning problem, proposed by Derek Smart at Cub Town:

"Let me put this another way: At the end of play this weekend, Albert Pujols, on an amazing tear to start the season, is sporting a .346/.509/.914 line - just vicious stuff. The line allowed by Glendon Rusch in his first five starts has been .348/.438/.841, turning entire teams into vast armies of Pujolses. Glendon seems like a awfully nice fella, and I appreciate all he did for the club in 2004, but that Glendon isn't coming back, and it makes no more sense to wait for him."

 

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