Your Own. Personal. Guzman.

No, he's not someone who hears your prayers, he's not someone who cares. He's Cristian Guzman (By the way, although I'm not a Depeche Mode fan, I think Personal Jesus is one of the best songs of the past 20 years - so good that the Man in Black remade it). As I was watching the Nats go down to yet another defeat this evening, and while watching Guzman take up his spot in the order yet again, I got to thinking. Sure, Guzman is hitting .188, but it doesn't seem like he's hitting that well. So I looked at Cristian Guzman's Game Log to see how our fabled shortstop has done with SuperNoVa in attendace attedance while I was at the game.

Game 1: vs. Diamondbacks, Apr. 14: 1 for 4 (.250)
Game 2: vs. Phillies, April 26: 1 for 3 (.286 running)
Game 3: vs. Mets, April 29: 1 for 3 (.300 running)
Game 4: vs. Cubs, May 15: 1 for 3 (.308 running)
Game 5: vs. Brewers, May 19: 0 for 3 (.250 running)
Game 6: vs. A's, June 8: 1 for 4 (.250 running)
Game 7: vs. Mariners, June 12: DNP (.250 running)
Game 8: vs. Blue Jays, June 26: 0-1 (.238 running)
Game 9: vs. Mets, July 4: DNP (.238 running)
Game 10: vs. Rockies, July 18: 0-3 (.208 running)
Game 11: vs. Astros, July 23: 0-4 (.179 running)
Game 12: vs. Dodgers, August 2: 1-2 (.200 running)

So, that's weird. My own, personal Guzman is hitting better than every one else's Guzman, putting up a Mendoza-line batting average of .200. Heck, I've even seen Cristian walk 3 times in 12 games. My own, personal Guzman is a rotten player. But he's not a putrid stinking pile of filth like your own personal Guzman, reader.